Limits can be defined by the following six qualities: A boundary in relationship encounters is communicating no verbally or in your behavior, and meaning it!
When you and I say, “No”, we set a one-word boundary. You and I draw a proverbial line in the sand communicating, “Don’t trespass beyond this point.” If the other person breaks this ground rule you asserted, then you advise him or her of the consequence you will follow through with if they persist in such boundary violations.
A simple format to set and enforce limits is this three-step process: The core to setting effective limits is who sets the limits, when they’re set and to what extent boundaries are set.
You set the boundaries, and they are perceived as liberties and felt as pleasing; let someone else set them for you, and they’re perceived as restrictions and experienced as resentments.
Act too quickly and the other party believes he or she has been rejected or negatively judged, and may develop a suspicious, untrusting attitude.
Each discipline you develop is a key to setting limits by taking greater control of what you do, your actions.
The ability to discipline yourself can determine just how much respect you will receive from others.
Clearly knowing your values, principles and preferences is critical to be able to draw the lines you feel comfortable.
What’s the point in setting, maintaining and enforcing healthy limits and boundaries?
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Without communicating the threat of condemnation or arbitrariness, you can set limits deliberately out of the need for order combined with practicality.